Twists and Turns

To be honest, I never thought life would take me in this direction.

Throughout my high school years I believed that ‘when I grow up’ I’d be a doctor. I loved the idea of it. When I pictured my future life I imagined saving lives in the operating room, driving fancy cars, going on luxurious vacations, and living in a immaculately manicured, big, beautiful, house.

Turns out, I no longer want any of that!

In college it took me my first two years to finally accept this realization. I struggled in my biology and chemistry classes due to lack of interest. Was I a quitter and a failure because I no longer thought being a doctor was the right career for me? Telling my Mom was really hard because I didn’t have a plan B on what I wanted to do instead. I decided to change my major from Pre-Med to Communications. It was a complete 180. For my last two years in college I loved going to class, learning, and I did almost everything I could to prepare myself for life post graduation. You could find me on Saturday nights staying in and reading ahead for the next week of class.

I thought the big test was over.

When I received a job offer in public relations after I graduated college back in The Bay I was beyond scared. I loved my safety net at home. Everything in me told me to live at home with Mom and Dad in Oregon where I was close to most of my friends. I truly did not want to leave. At the same time I knew I had to take a risk and go for the opportunity, otherwise  I would probably regret it and wonder what could have been. Leaving home (for real, not just for college) was probably one of the hardest things I have done and it was my choice too. I was proud of myself though. It was time to be a big girl and learn how to do everything on my own. If I could do this I can do just about anything.

The older I get the less important it is for me to have the big house and nearly perfect life. I would rather be able to enjoy the company of my loved ones at home than working hard just to sleep in a big house. I learn the most when things don’t go perfectly. I strive to be mistake free, but I’m beginning to relax a bit more and learn that everything works out in the end anyways. Although I enjoy working, I don’t want it to be my life. It’s important to live life and explore what it has to offer. In fact, one of the top five regrets people have on their death bed is that they worked too hard. I will do my best to fully avoid that regret.

I have learned that it is nearly impossible to plan out my life. I still get scared because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going, but I guess that’s what life is all about. This is the adventure. I'm living it now! Finally, I can begin understand why a 40-50 year old professional man or woman would say they still don’t know what they want to do with their life! Most of the time people can’t plan on the opportunities they come across.

All I can do is embrace life’s twists and turns and be happy no matter where I am.