Bad Funk

It’s been a bit rough. I’ve never known what it really feels like to be lonely until now. Even though I feel grateful to have a great job right out of college I’m struggling with this new life I have. The monotonous routine is killing me.

I wake up at 7 a.m. every morning, shower, drive to work, work until 5 or 6 p.m., drive home, take the dog for a walk or run, make dinner, prepare lunch for the next day, talk to my boyfriend, go to sleep, and repeat. I know this is going to sound silly, but I feel too young to be boring.

As much as I was ready and excited to graduate and be a working member of society, it’s a huge transition. The majority of my friends are back at home in Oregon. I’m finding that making friends gets a lot harder as you get older.

When it comes to being emotional, I’m usually not. My college roommate would actually get upset with me if I didn’t shed a tear during a sad movie. However, last week when I went to find her a ‘thinking of you’ card I found myself tearing up at the messages inside several cards! What is wrong with me? This bad funk is getting to me.

Turns out all I needed were to see a friendly face and a change of scenery to get myself out of this funk. I took a trip to Kansas of all places (which I will blog about later) and came back unexpectedly refreshed. Life is good, even though sometimes I need a quick reminder.

Jager - The German Sheperd Mix I take for walks and runs

Total Embrace

Last night was nearly life-changing. A couple of my girlfriends and I had no idea what we were getting into when we decided to drive to San Francisco’s Mission area on Valencia to watch Audiafauna perform. My college friend's old high school friend, Kelly Koval, is the lead singer for Audiafauna.

First of all the Mission is such an amazing area. The San Francisco hipster culture hit me directly in the face. Valencia street is lined with Italianate townhouses, intimate restaurants, wine bars, and the Viracocha where we attended the candlelit concert. I believe this area truly encompasses what San Francisco is all about!

Upon arrival we didn’t think we had the right location because as we entered Viracocha it was filled with old antiques in a museum-like set up (not a price tag in sight and twine roping guiding you throughout). However, as we headed down stairs into an artsy basement music began to fade in. I couldn’t believe a concert was being held in this place! As soon as I entered the room I received vibes of openness and acceptance from everyone. It was so comfortable.

The first group to perform, Ramon & Jessica, had the feel of the last song in the movie Juno ‘Anyone Else but You’ by the Moldy Peaches. The duo was just a young woman and man with a guitar. They couple didn’t have amazing vocals or instrumental skills, but I loved them! They have the effect of putting a smile on people’s faces. I felt like I was watching them in their own home, performing just for fun, with no one to impress.

Up next was Foxtail Brigade. This group was also small, just a man on the violin with a small vocal part and a young girl with amazing vocals, similar to Regina Spektor, and her guitar which was played with harp-like vibrations. They were great, although several of their songs sounded too similar.

After the Foxtail Brigade closed Audiafana began to set up. As they set up I knew I was in for a great treat when I saw a cello, violin, keyboard, upright bass, guitar, drums, and a laptop all being tuned to create music. As soon as they began to perform their opening number the audience went nutts! People filled the isles, were standing in the back, and every seat was taken. Audiafana rocked the house!

All of my senses were overwhelmed. As I looked around the candlelit room I noticed I could be entertained just by observing the audience. This was hippie central. People were wearing western hats with feathers, layered flowing tops, skinny leggings (men too), and of course dreadlocks galore!

One girl was what I will call 'flow dancing' barefoot during the entire performance. She was moving her body as if it were connected directly to the music. Her movements were not necessarily in rhythm with the music, but her entire body smoothly felt the music's vibrations. This girl was the only one dancing in the center isle and I knew she felt completely comfortable with herself. She added to the atmosphere.

The air smelled of spilt beer, just lit marijuana, and extreme body odor. But, what I was hearing was the most incredible of all senses! This group is so talented and all six of the group members was rocking out on their instruments. They kept the audience interactive with clapping, snapping, and singing along. I was filled with music and I couldn’t sit still.

Honestly, this concert was one of my absolute favorite things I have experience in San Francisco so far. Now that I got a taste of the true San Fran I am inspired to explore even further. Audiafana, based out of Santa Cruz, has two performances coming up in the next two months.  I hope I will be able to make the December 2^nd performance when they come back to the city.

This night surprised me with the opportunity to fully embrace what San Francisco is all about! I’m addicted.

Twists and Turns

To be honest, I never thought life would take me in this direction.

Throughout my high school years I believed that ‘when I grow up’ I’d be a doctor. I loved the idea of it. When I pictured my future life I imagined saving lives in the operating room, driving fancy cars, going on luxurious vacations, and living in a immaculately manicured, big, beautiful, house.

Turns out, I no longer want any of that!

In college it took me my first two years to finally accept this realization. I struggled in my biology and chemistry classes due to lack of interest. Was I a quitter and a failure because I no longer thought being a doctor was the right career for me? Telling my Mom was really hard because I didn’t have a plan B on what I wanted to do instead. I decided to change my major from Pre-Med to Communications. It was a complete 180. For my last two years in college I loved going to class, learning, and I did almost everything I could to prepare myself for life post graduation. You could find me on Saturday nights staying in and reading ahead for the next week of class.

I thought the big test was over.

When I received a job offer in public relations after I graduated college back in The Bay I was beyond scared. I loved my safety net at home. Everything in me told me to live at home with Mom and Dad in Oregon where I was close to most of my friends. I truly did not want to leave. At the same time I knew I had to take a risk and go for the opportunity, otherwise  I would probably regret it and wonder what could have been. Leaving home (for real, not just for college) was probably one of the hardest things I have done and it was my choice too. I was proud of myself though. It was time to be a big girl and learn how to do everything on my own. If I could do this I can do just about anything.

The older I get the less important it is for me to have the big house and nearly perfect life. I would rather be able to enjoy the company of my loved ones at home than working hard just to sleep in a big house. I learn the most when things don’t go perfectly. I strive to be mistake free, but I’m beginning to relax a bit more and learn that everything works out in the end anyways. Although I enjoy working, I don’t want it to be my life. It’s important to live life and explore what it has to offer. In fact, one of the top five regrets people have on their death bed is that they worked too hard. I will do my best to fully avoid that regret.

I have learned that it is nearly impossible to plan out my life. I still get scared because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going, but I guess that’s what life is all about. This is the adventure. I'm living it now! Finally, I can begin understand why a 40-50 year old professional man or woman would say they still don’t know what they want to do with their life! Most of the time people can’t plan on the opportunities they come across.

All I can do is embrace life’s twists and turns and be happy no matter where I am.